In The Last 4 Months...

Day one

2 weeks old

2 months old

3 months old

4 months old

The last 4 months have brought a whirlwind of change and emotions for me. I am ecstatic to finally be in the mommy club. It has been such a long and emotional road for me and Lance that I sometimes thought it wasn't going to happen. I enjoy every minute with my little man...playing with him, watching him discover new things, watching him sleep, seeing his personality develop. It is such an amazing thing to watch this little person that you created discover and grow and learn.

I was lucky enough to have been able to stay home with him during his first 10 1/2 weeks of life. It was such a great time to bond with him and get to know him. I was never the kind of person who wanted to be a full time stay-at-home Mom, but I enjoyed (and still do!) every second I spend with him. I went back to work on November 1 and had mixed emotions about that. As much as I miss seeing Logan all day everyday, I was really craving adult interaction. I wasn't confident enough to leave the house for very long with him on my own, so I didn't get out much. I think about him all day when I'm at work, though. I'm so very grateful for the jobs that Lance and I have. I am home by 3:30pm everyday, I never have to work a weekend or a holiday and we have a lot of time off during the year during the summer and other breaks. They are the perfect jobs for us to have!

Along with the joy of having Logan around, I faced a lot of other emotions that I wasn't ready for. I felt guilty for having to stop breastfeeding so early on in his life. My hormones, which were very much under control during my pregnancy, were completely out of whack after I gave birth. Then I dealt with a pretty heavy case of the baby blues. It didn't develop into postpartum depression, but it was definitely something that I wasn't prepared for or knew exactly how to get through. It would always strike me in the evening. Lance would ask me a simple question like, "does chicken sound good for dinner?" and I would find myself hiding in the bathroom to cry for the next 20 minutes...and wonder why in the heck was I crying?

I also struggled with a lot of personal relationships. There were a few people that I had felt really close to and then after Logan was born, it was as if they had disappeared. It was months before I got so much as a text from them to find out how I was doing. On the flip side, there were people who I didn't feel quite as close to or hadn't seen or talked to in YEARS that were contacting me to find out how I was doing. One of them even went out of her way to make and bring us dinner! It was so sweet of these people to think of me and I will forever be grateful to them.

The last 4 months have left me with a lot to think about. Of course, my main priorities have changed for us and my focus is now on Logan. However, I have learned that I can't lose myself in my new role or rely on other people to make me happy. I need to figure out how to do that myself. This next year, I will be devoting myself to change and a year of firsts...my first year as a Mom, different activities, hobbies and new adventures. I want to be a better person for myself, my husband and my son.

Here goes nothing!

Logan

Our first family picture!

It has taken me a really long time to update my blog and I'm so happy that I finally have a chance to do it! Here is a little bit of what happened when Logan entered the world:

At 11:28pm on August 18, Logan was born. I went into the hospital on Tuesday, August 17 at 6pm and they started inducing about an hour later. I was feeling really great until about 2am...when the contractions were starting to get intense and seemed like they wouldn't let up. The nurses kept telling me that I needed to try and rest as much as possible but I knew that I wouldn't be able to with those contractions, so I asked for an epidural. It was the best possible thing I could have asked for. The little prick in my back brought me instant relief...and the anesthesiologist instantly became my best friend. Lance and I were able to get some sleep after that. All was well.

At about 8:45am the family started to arrive. My parents, sister and Lance's dad all arrived at the same time. I was talking to my Mom and sister when, at promptly 9:05am, my water broke. It was sudden and unexpected but very much welcome! We thought FOR SURE it wouldn't be long after that. Boy were we wrong!

The time passed and we waited...and waited...and waited. The doctor came in to check on me every once in a while but I was progressing so slowly that there wasn't much more to do than just wait. Luckily, I was feeling FANTASTIC from the epidural and wasn't in any pain whatsoever. My family kept staring at the monitor in amazement that I wasn't feeling the huge contractions that I was having. Lance kept me entertained by reading me all of the comments that people were leaving on Facebook.

Things started changing around 9pm. I was starting to feel A LOT of pressure *down there*. My epidural was also wearing off so I was starting to feel everything. It is quite a shock going from feeling absolutely nothing to feeling EVERYTHING at 8-9cm dilated. The anesthesiologist came in to see if he could adjust my epidural. It worked for a very short amount of time and then stopped working. He tried a different medication but that didn't work at all. After 18 hours of having the epidural, my body became tolerant of it and it stopped taking effect. I didn't have any other choice at that time but to just breathe and get through it.

After a while of squeezing the crap out of my sister's hand while breathing through contractions, I thought for sure that I was ready to push. My doctor came in and said that I had not progressed and that I was still only 8-9cm. I was absolutely miserable by this point. The contractions were seriously strong, I could feel him drop into the birth canal and I was shaking almost uncontrollably in my bed. I was also unbelievably hot. My family said the room was an ice box but it wasn't cool enough for me. My sister put wet washcloths all over me...on my head, arms, legs, feet...and it still wasn't enough. By this point I had also developed a fever. I saw the nurse consulting with the doctor and I knew what it was about. The came over to me with what they thought was going to be bad news to me...I was going to need a c-section. I was elated! I was ready to meet my new little man.

Everything went super smooth in delivery. It took about a half hour and then they rolled me into recovery. The nurse was really nice and let me talk her ear off...which is what I needed at that moment to get through the pain. After about an hour, my pain was under control and I was rolled into my postpartum room down the hall.

I will never forgot the moment I first saw my baby boy. In my eyes, he was perfect. I think my first words were, "he's so cute!" I was so happy to hear that he was here...safe...healthy. After years and years of trying to start a family with Lance, we had finally done it. I couldn't have been happier!

Except for one lactation consultant at the hospital, the care I received was absolutely top notch. All of my nurses in labor and delivery, surgery, recovery and postpartum were so unbelievably nice and supportive. My doctor and anesthesiologists were fantastic. The perinatologists and medical assistants were so friendly and nice. I couldn't have asked for a better team of doctors and professionals to have helped me in my journey. Maybe we will all meet again in a few more years.

Maybe...

Progress!

I was at my parent's house yesterday when my sister decided that she wanted to do a little photo shoot. I didn't really have any pictures of me and my growing belly so I was grateful that she wanted to do that. So, here I am at 37 weeks, 2 days along!

I have continued to have lots of doctor appointments. My non-stress tests have been great and have showed that my fluid levels are perfect and baby is doing fantastic. I saw my OBGYN on Thursday and I found out that I am now 50% effaced and 1cm dilated. I wasn't dilated at all at my last appointment, so we were really pleased about the progress! Hopefully everything will continue to develop naturally. At my appointment, my doctor went through my chart and pulled up the report with Logan's growth assessment. It's always reassuring when the doctor exclaims, "Wow! Your baby's head is off the charts!" We all had a little laugh about it, yet I have a feeling I'm not going to be the one laughing when I need to push that big noggin out when the time comes. Oh well!

Other than that, there really isn't much more to report on right now. I'm still having braxton hicks contractions, but none that would signal active labor. I'm having a little bit of back labor, as my lower back has been sore off and on for a few days now and I have a little bit of ligament pain when I stand to walk. I'm also feeling more pressure *down there*, but all of this is perfectly normal for where I am in the pregnancy right now. I've actually tried to take some video of him moving in my belly, but of course, whenever I hit the record button, he stops moving. He's either going to be shy or stubborn just like his daddy. Oops...did I just say that???

Speaking of Lance...I just want to take this opportunity to say how lucky I feel to have him as my partner. He has been absolutely wonderful taking care of me, the pets and the house. I don't think I tell him enough how grateful I am for him and all he does. I LOVE YOU, SWEETIE!!!!

A typical day? Not so much...

This last Saturday, I dealt with a headache that was much bigger than I'm used to. It didn't turn into any kind of migraine, but it was big enough to be quite annoying. It lasted for a few hours and then went away. The next day, Lance and I met one of his former students for lunch and afterward, I came home and took a nap. I woke up from my nap feeling absolutely awful....nausea, lightheaded, hot flashes and another headache. I took my blood pressure and it was higher than what my "normal" is, so I decided to call the on-call doctor. I had some pretty major symptoms of preeclampsia, so I didn't want to risk it. Even after I told her my history of having hypertension, she told me that she just thought I had food poisoning and told me that my blood pressure would have to stay elevated for them to be concerned. I got off the phone with her and rested on the couch for a while. I took my blood pressure again and it had gone down significantly and my nausea, hot flashes and feelings of being lightheaded went away. No more Mexican food for me for a while!

Monday was a much better day. I didn't have any headaches or other symptoms for the entire day. Lance and I went to the perinatologist for another non-stress test and ultrasound. I had been looking forward to this ultrasound because they were going to do a growth assessment on Logan. As it turns out, we have an extremely active child on our hands. So much, in fact, that I had to sit in the chair and be monitored for much longer than usual because he wouldn't stop moving. They look for a baseline on the monitor and compare his heart rate when he's at rest and when he moves, but if he continues to move, they can't get a good reading on him. It's all good news, though, because he's active. It would be scary to have a baby that didn't move much. The ultrasound showed that all of his fluids are fantastic. After doing the growth assessment, they determined that he is in the 71st percentile for growth and is currently weighing in at around 6 pounds, 14 ounces. They also told me that his head....his big, "perfectly round" (as they called it), noggin is in the 98th percentile for size. Holy moly!!!! I told the doctor that I didn't want to push out a 10 pound baby with a head that big. Nope. Not me! I'll keep my legs closed until they cut him out thankyouverymuch. Not happening. I think she felt my pain because she placed her hand on my arm and said, "We don't want that for you, either." I told her that my OBGYN wants to induce at 39 weeks and my perinatologist told me that she actually hopes that he comes on his own in the next two weeks. I couldn't hope for a better scenario! Fingers crossed!

I woke up this morning feeling as good as I did yesterday, which was quite the relief. I had a dentist appointment that went really well in the morning. They told me that I've taken fantastic care of my teeth and they were especially impressed with how well my gums looked for being so far along in my pregnancy. I had very little pregnancy related gingivitis and very little plaque. Lance and I headed to a scheduled appointment at my OBGYN's office in the early afternoon. The medical assistant took my blood pressure and told me it was slightly elevated, but didn't seem too concerned. Then she asked me if I would be okay with a nurse practitioner student doing my exam today instead of the NP that was supposed to see me. I figured that it wouldn't hurt, and besides, students need to practice on someone, right? The student came in and she instantly seemed like a nervous, hot mess. I could tell that she was trying really hard to ask every question imaginable and do everything by the book but she seemed really nervous and was kind of fumbling around. I think this made me nervous, because when she took my blood pressure (both standing and sitting), it was very, very high. She did my exam and then took my blood pressure for a 3rd time. It was still high, but lower than it was the previous two times. After asking another billion questions, she headed out to consult with the NP I was originally supposed to see. They both came back into the room a few minutes later and told me that they contacted the on-call doctor at the hospital and it was her recommendation that I come to the hospital to be monitored for a while to check my blood pressure and how the baby was doing. With absolutely no hesitation, Lance and I left and headed the 1/2 mile or so up to the hospital.

I have to say...I feel really lucky to be in such good hands. I love my doctors and I really love the hospital where I'm going to be delivering. I was a patient there for a week back in 2001 and the care I received was stellar. It was no different this time. Lance and I arrived and they already had a room ready and waiting for me. I laid in the bed for about two hours while they had me hooked up to a fetal monitor, another monitor that measures and records your contractions and a blood pressure machine that would take my blood pressure every 15 minutes. They also had a lady come in from the lab to draw some blood. After two hours, the nurse told me that I was free to go. My blood pressure had gone down and stabilized and the baby looked great. I have to go back to the OBGYN office on Friday for a follow-up appointment and call to get my urine culture results on Thursday. I signed some paperwork and I was discharged. Everything is good!

I also found out today a bit more information about being induced. Unless Logan decides to come earlier, they are going to admit me to the hospital the evening of August 17 and I will be induced the following morning. I don't have any times yet, but I will be sure to let people know once I find out. I'm still hoping that he comes a bit earlier than this, but I'm really happy about the fact that they're not letting me get to 40 weeks.

Stay tuned!

My Full-Time Summer Job

I have made no secret of the fact that this summer my full-time job has included doctor appointments, baby classes, organizing the baby room, appointments at the diabetes center and managing my diabetes and blood pressure. I am so incredibly glad that I decided not to work at the school district this summer. I really don't know how I would have managed to do everything I not only wanted to do, but NEEDED to do.

Today happened to be a pretty busy day for us. I had two doctor appointments. My first one was with my OB-GYN. She informed me that because of my gestational diabetes, she will not let me get to 40 weeks gestation, so unless he decides to come earlier, she will induce labor at 39 weeks. This means that I will be induced on either August 17th or 18th. Of course, if he decides to come before 39 weeks, that would be okay, too. I will be 35 weeks on Wednesday and I'm far enough along now that there isn't a whole lot that we would need to worry about as far as his development is concerned. With gestational diabetes, the biggest risk is that the baby will become too large for delivery, which is why they won't let me get that far along. Lance and I were absolutely thrilled to hear that we'll get to meet our little guy at least a week before his actual due date! For many reasons, this will definitely work out to everyone's advantage.

We also talked to my doctor about getting vaccinated for Whooping Cough (Pertussis). This has started to become a real problem and cases of it have really increased in California. She said that I will be vaccinated before I am discharged from the hospital and the baby will be vaccinated when he is a few months old. Lance is going to get vaccinated this week and I have already sent information to my parents and sister about clinics in our area that are offering free vaccinations. I would really encourage everyone to please get vaccinated. There are many clinics that offer it free of charge and it is good for 10 years. Getting poked in the arm is so worth not spreading this horrible disease to a little one. Okay...enough of my lecturing...

My second appointment was at the perinatology office. I've been going there twice a week for the last few weeks to do non-stress tests. Once a week they also do an ultrasound, which is always fun. Today, for the first time, the ultrasound tech actually got a pretty good shot of his face and we were able to see him sticking his tongue out and moving his mouth. We even got to watch him stick his fingers in his mouth and start sucking on them. I almost died! It was such a cool moment to see him do that. The non-stress test took longer than usual today because he was being a little bit hyperactive. They waited until his heart rate came down a bit before letting me out of the chair. At one of my appointments next week, they will measure his growth again. At my first appointment today, I learned that I am now right at my prepregnancy weight and after measuring my belly, he seemed to be right on track for growth. It was also confirmed today that he was still head down and in the exact position he's supposed to be in. He has been in that position for a while now. I am anxious to find out what his growth measures to be next week!

Anyway, we are really, really happy with the way everything is going right now. My glucose numbers have been excellent, my blood pressure has been pretty stable and he seems to be growing and developing exactly the way he is supposed to. Lets just hope that this continues for the next 4 weeks!

Baby Shower

On Saturday, June 26, my sister threw me a beautiful baby shower at my parent's house. I was so overwhelmed by how many of my family and friends came to celebrate this special day. We received some of the most adorable clothes I've ever seen along with some really beautiful handmade blankets, quilts and booties. I have some seriously talented friends and family!

I just want to take the opportunity to thank everyone who made this day so special. My sister put in countless hours making decorations, baking, shopping and everything else in between. My parents used their entire week of vacation leading up to the shower making sure that the house and property was set for a big party and making some delicious food for the shower. Thank you to the 30+ people who showed up to help celebrate from very near and VERY far! Two people drove for over 3 hours to get there and one person drove 5 hours each way to be there! All 3 of them also turned around and went home after the shower. I don't know how they did that! I also had 3 family members take a 12 hour train ride to be there. Thank you, also, to the friends and family who couldn't be there but sent your well wishes and gifts. We truly appreciate each and every one of you and are grateful to have you all in our lives!

I've created this slide show of the shower for those who wish to view it. It was a very special day and one that I will remember for a long time. Thank you everyone!!!

Logan's Mural

I have such an incredibly talented sister! Bre came over today and painted this super cute mural in Logan's room. It was so sad to see the old one go, as it has been up in the baby room for over 3 1/2 years now. We had lavender walls with cute little bugs on this wall and the surrounding ones, but it was a bit girly to keep for our little boy. I wanted a blue/brown/beige color scheme and Lance wanted a sailboat, so Bre was able to combine the two ideas and come up with this! It also matches a cute bedding set that I have on my registry. We really couldn't be happier with the results of the mural!

Thank you, Bre!!! You're going to make such a great Auntie. I'm so lucky to have a sister like you. I love you!!!!!!!!!!

Let Summer Begin!

There's our little guy! We had an ultrasound about a week and a half ago and Logan checked out great! At the appointment, they said he weighed about 2.14 pounds and was in the 66th percentile for size. We scheduled a bunch of non stress tests to be performed this summer starting on June 28th. As of now, everything looks to be right on track with him, so there's no need to worry about the tests. Again, it's just a precaution. It involves me going into the perinatology office twice a week for 4-5 weeks so they can monitor him.

I think this picture of him is so funny. He looks like a little monkey who is holding a stuffed ducky. It also kind of looks like he's smiling. I hope he's a happy little guy!

A couple of weeks ago, I was officially diagnosed with gestational diabetes. My numbers weren't drastically high but they were elevated enough to get the diagnosis. I've since been to two diabetes classes with other pregnant women. I found the classes to be very thorough and informative. We had to track everything we ate for a week and we were given a blood sugar monitor and told to measure our levels 4 times a day. During the second class, a nutritionist and dietitian looked over what we ate and where are blood sugar levels were for the week. My numbers were all fantastic except for a couple of fasting numbers in the morning. In the middle of the night, your body gives you a boost of sugar that can sometimes give you a high reading first thing in the morning when you check your blood sugar. That is what was happening to me. So, Monday morning I have to go back to the diabetes center where they will show me how to give myself an injection of insulin before I go to bed at night. This will allow my blood sugar to stay lower when I check it first thing in the morning. This will be the only shot I will have to give myself because all of my other numbers are great. They assured me that giving myself this shot at night is not a bad thing and that lots of women have a problem with that particular reading. They also told me that out of the 5 women that were in my class, 3 of us are being treated for the same thing. I definitely don't feel alone in this.

I have been doing really well at managing my sugar levels and my eating habits. I'm really happy about the fact that when I have control over what I eat during the day, my numbers are great. I have been walking with Lance and Freyja every night, except for a few nights, and on those nights I hop on my stationary bike to continue to get some exercise. The exercise and change in eating habits has actually caused me to lose some weight. In fact, I am 7 months along and I am at my prepregnancy weight. I had gained a total of 5 pounds when I checked in at my 24 week appointment but at week 29, I had lost all 5 of those pounds. The doctor, again, was not concerned about this and in fact, it was me who brought up the fact that I had lost weight. I'm eating healthy, I'm exercising and Logan is growing the way he is supposed to.

He's also kicking me like crazy as I write this. *smile*

Yesterday was my last day of the school year. I can't believe that I just finished my 10th year with the district. Boy, how time flies! Since I'm so far along in my pregnancy, I'm not working summer school. My wonderful, loving, sweet husband is doing it instead to bring us in a little extra cash. (I hope he reads this!) I know that working over the summer isn't his favorite thing to do, but I do appreciate that he offered to do it. If I wasn't so close to the end of my pregnancy, I would probably work it. The timing of me not working seems to be perfect, though, seeing that I'm going to have a ton of appointments from now until the end. He's due in only 10 1/2 more weeks....yikes!!! He's going to be here before we know it!

The hot weather has finally hit us and Lance is super happy about it...me, not so much. I don't tolerate heat well as it is, but when you're carrying around a person all day long, it's really not so much fun. I'm looking forward to us finding a pool that I can dunk myself in this summer. Summer has definitely started!

Second Time's A Charm?

I decided to take last Friday off of work to do my glucose test, which is what is done to check for gestational diabetes. My students were going on an outing to San Francisco, so there was no way I was going to be able to coordinate my test with being able to meet my students before they hopped on BART, so I took the day off. I got the call from my doctor's office yesterday afternoon informing me that I had failed my test.

Major bummer.

So, tomorrow morning, I get to go do it again. Only this time, instead of drinking the solution and waiting one hour for them to draw my blood, I get to have my blood drawn right away, drink the solution and then get my blood drawn every hour (on the hour) after that for 3 hours. That's 4 blood draws in 3 hours. Good thing I don't have a problem with needles! (Or blood, for that matter).

I really hope that I'm not diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I was told on the phone yesterday that they definitely weren't sure if I had it, which is why we're doing the 3 hour test. They look for your reading to be 140 or less. I read at 175. Apparently, if you reach a certain number, they stop testing you and you're automatically put on a special diet. I've already given up tuna and deli sandwiches...please don't take away milkshakes, too!

I'm not really complaining. I know this is important and I'm taking it seriously, but I'm not worried about it. If it turns out that I have it, I'll deal with it. I've been really lucky so far with my pregnancy and I have really enjoyed being pregnant. Up to this point, I have dodged so many things that other people have to deal with and for that I feel really lucky.

I have also started having some Braxton Hicks contractions. Boy, is that a reminder of what is coming soon! It just gets more and more real everyday. Love it!

Wish me luck tomorrow!

25 weeks!

I've had some people ask me lately to post a picture of my baby bump. Here is the first one! I'm almost 26 weeks along and I'm feeling really good. I'm a bit tired when I come home from work these days so I've been taking more naps in the afternoons. I only have 4 more weeks of work until summer break. I'm really looking forward to the time off!

Everything has been going really well with us. Last Monday, Lance was able to feel Logan move for the first time. It was so great for him to finally feel him move. He has been moving quite a bit. I think we're going to have a very active baby! My doctor even commented on how active he is. I've really enjoyed my pregnancy so far. I've been very lucky when it comes to so many things. My doctor is monitoring my blood pressure but after increasing one of my meds two weeks ago, she seems to be happier with my readings. I'm going to do my glucose test this Friday. Wish me luck!

Lance and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary last Tuesday. We decided to keep it low key and go to dinner at BJ's Brewhouse. Lance bought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a Wolverine birthday card. Yes...a Wolverine BIRTHDAY card. It was awesome! He said it was because the store was out of anniversary cards. He didn't even need to give me an explanation. I thought it was pretty funny.

Freyja

Puppy Love

A quick update

Today I had a follow up appointment at my OB-GYN office to check my blood pressure. It was quite high at my last appointment so they wanted me to come in to see how it was doing two weeks later. My initial reading today was high at 160/90. We talked for a few minutes and then she told me to lay down so I could listen to the baby's heartbeat. I sat back up and after a couple more minutes, she took my blood pressure again. It went down to 140/82. Still a little high but much better! She consulted with another doctor in the office and they decided not to bump up my meds at this time. I gave her the rundown of how my readings have been over the last 2 weeks and since it hasn't been consistently high, they don't want to mess with my meds just yet. We wouldn't want my blood pressure to get too low, especially since my bottom number has been overwhelmingly good lately. I have another appointment with them in 2 weeks. This appointment will be for my 22 week check up and they will see how my blood pressure is doing then.

Tomorrow is the big day! As long as baby cooperates, we should know tomorrow afternoon whether we're having a boy or a girl! I couldn't be more excited.

Spring Break!

I really thought that this week was never going to come. Life has been crazy over the last couple of weeks for me. I have been super stressed about some things that have transpired in my life, although they have nothing to do with my home or family. Hopefully, some things will be resolved in the next couple of months. Until then, I keep looking forward to these wonderful breaks!

Lance and I had our 18 week appointment on March 24th. Everything checked out great! We got to hear the baby's heartbeat and all seems well. Bre was able to go with us to that appointment, so it was really neat for her to get to experience that as well. I had only gained 2 1/2 pounds since my 10 week appointment. I just don't have the appetite I did before getting pregnant. My blood pressure was quite high, though. It read at 160/96, which happens to be a new record for me. Instead of waiting to see my OB-GYN at 22 weeks, she is having me come back next week for a blood pressure check to see how it's doing. I have been taking my blood pressure everyday since my last appointment and it has been quite up and down. It is definitely on the higher side when I'm at work or have just come home from work and much lower when I'm at home. Hmmm.....

Spring Break is going to be a very busy week for us, but in a very good way. I have been waiting for this week to come for so long now and I'm more than thrilled that it is finally here! On Easter, I will head over to my sister's boyfriend's parent's house for dinner with my family. Lance goofed and bought a ticket to go to the comic book convention that day, thinking that Easter was the following weekend. So, we won't get to spend the holiday together. On Monday, we are FINALLY getting our new dishwasher! I never thought I'd be this excited about getting a new dishwasher, but I really am. Oh, to have clean dishes again! I have a doctor appointment on Tuesday to check my blood pressure. I'm also going to a concert with my parents that night. I have two doctor appointments on Wednesday. The first one is my 20 week ultrasound where we will (hopefully!) find out if we're having a boy or a girl. Lets hope that baby cooperates! The afternoon appointment is for a Fetal Echo. They are doing this as a precaution. Lance and I are leaving town on Thursday and going up to Eureka for a couple of days. We have never been up that way before and we're really looking forward to just getting out of town for a relaxing and fun little getaway. Boy, can we both use it right now!

So....what's your guess?

As One Life Is Beginning...

A few years ago, I went and saw an Orthopedist because I had been having problems with my back. After doing some xrays, he came to the conclusion that I had a bulged disk in my lower back. That definitely explained why I was having a hard time going on walks with Lance and our dog, Argos. Even though I stopped going on those walks, I still daydreamed about the day when we would have a child and I could push the child in a stroller while walking with Lance and the dog. At work, I've never had a problem pushing a wheelchair for long distances, so I definitely thought that it wouldn't be a problem to push a stroller when we had a child. I knew that Argos would be so great with a baby and it seemed like such a perfect thing to look forward to.

Unfortunately, the day that I had looked forward to for so long will never happen. We had to put our sweet dog to sleep on March 6. After battling malignant cancer since last summer, we knew that we had limited time left with him. He had been such a trooper for the last 7 months after having a toe on his back foot removed. He showed no serious signs of slowing down until about a week or two before we had to say goodbye. He had a seriously gnarly looking wound on the back of his leg that wouldn't heal. We took him to the vet and we tried a honey treatment for a week before we saw the vet again for a follow up appointment. The news was not good. The wound was actually a tumor in his lymph node that, unfortunately, would not get any better and would ultimately just keep getting worse. We decided that we would take him home for one more night so he could get one last good walk in with Lance and so we could spoil him rotten. In what seems to be almost unbelievable timing, he was very happy and energetic until the next day around noon.

Lance took him on a walk in the morning and all seemed well. Then about noon, Lance and I noticed that he kept pacing around the living room and kitchen and would not lay down. All of a sudden, he started dry heaving, which is something that he never did. We let him outside and he started foaming at the mouth. I knew that this was not good. It was really shocking because he had been fine up until this point. I called the vet and told them that I wanted an earlier appointment that day (our original appointment was for 2:45pm) and they told us to come in right away. We left the house immediately and found ourselves saying goodbye to him about a half hour later.

It has been a week and a half and Lance and I are still trying to cope. He wasn't just our pet, he was part of the family. He had such a goofy personality and was such a great dog. He just loved hanging out in his yard and protecting us from all the people who walked along the hill on the side of the house. He had several friends, including kids, who he would see on his walks to the park with Lance. He had a permanent look on his face as if to say that every day was the best day of his life. Lance and I were so happy to be his family for the almost 8 years that he was alive. He is very dearly missed.

I meant to write a couple of weeks ago about my last doctor appointment, but Argos' situation was the biggest and most consuming thing that we have had to deal with. My last appointment with my OB-GYN was on February 23rd. It went well but was pretty uneventful. My blood pressure was higher at this appointment but it wasn't alarmingly high, so no worries. We got to listen to the heartbeat which sounded fantastic! That was about it. The only real pain that I'm dealing with is sciatica. I seem to be okay until about 3am and then my legs start bothering me big time! I feel so lucky that that is the only real thing I have to deal with. No nausea, no vomiting and no more fatigue! My next appointment with my OB-GYN is on March 24th for my 18 week appointment.

Argos - February 2006

Oh, Baby!

It has taken me a really long time to finally update my blog. Part of that is because I have been in a great deal of denial about what is actually happening in my life at the moment and the other reason is that I didn't feel that the timing was right to talk about it until recently. My world has turned upside down over the last few months but in a very good way. It feels absolutely surreal to talk about how my life is going to change in the next six months when Lance and I bring a baby into this world. After everything we have been through with the adoption, I still can't believe that it took only 8 months for us to get pregnant. I feel really, really lucky and grateful. I still can't believe this is happening!

The last 3 1/2 years have felt like a roller coaster for me. As most of you know, Lance and I have been neck deep in the adoption process since August 2006. Most of the time, I was on a high. I knew that we would start a family eventually and every day I woke up thinking that maybe that was the day, but it never came. The phone never rang with the news that we had waited so patiently for. After doing all of the interviews, paperwork, background checks, a photo book of our family, a profile, required classes and non-required classes, the call for us to be placed with a child never came. I know that it would have come eventually, but Lance and I finally came to the conclusion that even though we're still young, we're not getting any younger. It was time to try something else.

There have been some misconceptions about the way Lance and I went about starting a family. Just the other day, I told a coworker of mine that I was expecting and her response was, "Oh, Kirsti! That's so great! Now you guys don't have to adopt!" A lot of people, if not most people, think that we wanted to adopt because we couldn't get pregnant ourselves. This idea couldn't be farther from the truth. Lance and I talked about adopting a child way before we were even married. It was something that appealed to both of us equally. It was something we really wanted to do. I went to see my doctor in the summer of 2005 and I asked to be put on "baby safe" blood pressure medication. The medication I was on at the time was not deemed safe for pregnancy. We tried a few different medications and different combinations of medications for about a year. In July 2006, I had a doctor appointment to check my blood pressure. At this point, I had tried about every combination possible, so Lance and I knew that this would be a deciding point for us. We decided on the way to my appointment that if my blood pressure was still not responding to the meds, we would adopt. Simple as that. Needless to say, the news was not good. Lance and I looked at each other in the car on the way home. I asked him, "adopt?" He said, "adopt!" It was decided. The next month, our journey started.

In May 2008, I started to wonder why everything was taking so long. I thought we would have been placed by then. I started to wonder if there were any other options for us so I scheduled another appointment with my family doctor to talk about blood pressure medications again. He sent me to a Perinatologist to discuss any newer medications that may have come out since we tried switching it up in 2006. They told me about two medications that were safe for pregnancy. I was really excited about this, since I had not previously tried either of them. To my surprise, they worked. I went from being on three meds to two meds and they were baby safe. I was happy to have another option.

Lance and I started trying for a baby in March 2009 and I was pregnant by November. It all seems so surreal!

I went for my first appointment on January 25, 2010 when I was 10 weeks along. I was pretty nervous going into my appointment because I just wanted and needed to hear good news. Up until then, I kept thinking that maybe there was a chance I was NOT pregnant and that I had lied to our family. Silly, I know, but that was the denial I was experiencing at the time. To my total surprise, my blood pressure was fantastic!!! I read at 114/82. I don't remember the last time my blood pressure was that good. Lance and I were pretty emotional seeing the baby for the first time. My parents and sister were anxiously waiting in the lobby to see us and celebrate the good news. It was such an amazing day! It was one that I'll never forget.

My second appointment was with a Perinatologist for my first trimester screening on February 12, 2010. They took measurements of the baby, we heard the heartbeat and they took a blood sample from me. Everything checked out perfectly! Two hands, two feet and a very strong heartbeat. The baby measured 2 1/2 inches in length and seemed to be right on track with everything. At this appointment, I was 12 weeks along.

Today starts my 13th week and I am due on August 25. We made our second appointment with the Perinatologist for April 7, which is when we will find out if we're having a girl or a boy! That day, we also have an appointment with the Pediatric Cardiologist. He will perform a baby echo to make sure the heart is okay. This appointment is more of a precaution because of Lance's heart history. He was born with pulmonary stenosis and had to have open heart surgery when he was 3 years old. He hasn't had any problems in the 33 years since then. The doctor told us that our baby only has a 4% chance of having something wrong with it's heart because of Lance's condition, so that put our minds at ease instantly. We really aren't worried about anything.

So, that is where we are in life! I had been feeling pretty fatigued lately, but I think I may be moving out of that and into the "just tired" category. I had only 2 weeks of very mild nausea between my 7th and 9th weeks and a little problem with sciatica, but that is pretty much it. Lance has been so wonderful and loving. I really could not have asked for a better husband, partner and friend in him. I am a really lucky gal. Life really is good!

I promise to try and blog more as we progress in this new journey. Wish us luck!

Our first ultrasound! 1/25/10

Baby at 10 weeks

Baby at 12 weeks, 3 days