Hi Everyone,
I just wanted to tell you that I hope I did not offend anyone by my last post. I really hope that my words are not taken the wrong way and that there is nothing on there that is offensive. I'm always so worried about what other people think (something I'm working on) and I'd hate to think that I upset anyone by my post.
I guess that's the risk you take by putting a blog out there for everyone to see. I really just want to try and be as truthful (and tactful) as I possibly can. By writing this blog, it is my chance to just put myself out there.
Ok...that's all.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Just to clear a few things up...
Since the school year started for me on August 15, I have had quite a few people ask me what the latest news is regarding the adoption. Most people are absolutely shocked to find out that we haven't been placed yet. Now, I have no problem whatsoever with people who ask questions about this process, as I'm sure I'd be equally curious if I were them. But, some people have then taken the conversation further than I would like them to. Let me explain...
I have had a few people who then decide to throw in the "WOW...this is taking a long time!" comment. Ummm...yes, we know. It is taking a long time. I then have to explain that Lance and I specified gender, age and narrowed in our preferences on how much of a disability we would be comfortable with at this time in our lives (taking into account our house, etc.). I have no problem with people's curiosity, but it is really hard when people state the obvious and tell me that it's taking a long time. Trust me...we're well aware of how long we've been waiting.
This isn't something that has been exactly shocking to us, though. We knew when we asked for a girl that we'd be in for a wait. According to our social worker, Susan, for some reason there are many, many more boys in the system than there are girls, so then waiting for a girl who is as young as we'd like her to be is most likely going to take a while. Also, if there are any other families who have been waiting for the same thing (girl, under 1 year old) for a longer period than we have, they will probably be placed first.
OK...then I have had people tell me that I should call my social worker to find out what is happening. I can tell you with 100% certainty that if we haven't heard from Susan, that means there is no news to report. It's not like they're taking the kids and putting them into a holding pattern until....well...who knows.
Here is how Susan explained the process to us (although even this isn't set in stone):
A child comes into the system. The child gets placed with a "foster only" family until the social workers can find appropriate placement. It is at this time that the social workers that represent the children and the social workers representing the families (like Lance and I) get together to discuss if the child will remain in foster care only or be placed with a concurrent family (like Lance and I). There are many factors that go into this decision. Now, if the child they are discussing happens to be what we're looking for, it is at this time that Susan will make a case (and sort of "sell" us) to the children's worker. If both agree that Lance and I are a good fit for that child, we will then get the phone call telling us that we have been matched and will be placed. That's, roughly, how it works. Every situation is a little different and could vary, but this is pretty much how Susan expects it to happen.
I also need to bring something else up. I have had a few people tell me that "everything happens for a reason" and that things happen "when it's meant to be." Now, I'm sure to most people these are very comforting sayings/cliches, but to me, they don't really do anything for me. I know that people are trying to be supportive and I really appreciate that. I don't want anyone to think that I don't appreciate the love and support we're getting. But, I don't believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that things happen because they do and because that's just life. I'm not sold on the idea that our life is already mapped out for us by some higher power/God/creator/etc and that things haven't happened yet because it wasn't "meant to be". I believe it just hasn't happened yet and that's it. There is no judgement from me if you believe in those sayings. I think you need to do whatever it is that gets you through life and the hard times. I'm just not so sure that I'm on the same page with those sayings.
In any case, I want to thank everyone for being so supportive. I don't think we would have been able to go this far in the process without everyone being so great and loving. Please feel free to ask us questions whenever you have them. But trust me....as soon as we hear anything, we will let everyone know. It will be no secret!
I hope everyone is having a safe Labor Day weekend!
I have had a few people who then decide to throw in the "WOW...this is taking a long time!" comment. Ummm...yes, we know. It is taking a long time. I then have to explain that Lance and I specified gender, age and narrowed in our preferences on how much of a disability we would be comfortable with at this time in our lives (taking into account our house, etc.). I have no problem with people's curiosity, but it is really hard when people state the obvious and tell me that it's taking a long time. Trust me...we're well aware of how long we've been waiting.
This isn't something that has been exactly shocking to us, though. We knew when we asked for a girl that we'd be in for a wait. According to our social worker, Susan, for some reason there are many, many more boys in the system than there are girls, so then waiting for a girl who is as young as we'd like her to be is most likely going to take a while. Also, if there are any other families who have been waiting for the same thing (girl, under 1 year old) for a longer period than we have, they will probably be placed first.
OK...then I have had people tell me that I should call my social worker to find out what is happening. I can tell you with 100% certainty that if we haven't heard from Susan, that means there is no news to report. It's not like they're taking the kids and putting them into a holding pattern until....well...who knows.
Here is how Susan explained the process to us (although even this isn't set in stone):
A child comes into the system. The child gets placed with a "foster only" family until the social workers can find appropriate placement. It is at this time that the social workers that represent the children and the social workers representing the families (like Lance and I) get together to discuss if the child will remain in foster care only or be placed with a concurrent family (like Lance and I). There are many factors that go into this decision. Now, if the child they are discussing happens to be what we're looking for, it is at this time that Susan will make a case (and sort of "sell" us) to the children's worker. If both agree that Lance and I are a good fit for that child, we will then get the phone call telling us that we have been matched and will be placed. That's, roughly, how it works. Every situation is a little different and could vary, but this is pretty much how Susan expects it to happen.
I also need to bring something else up. I have had a few people tell me that "everything happens for a reason" and that things happen "when it's meant to be." Now, I'm sure to most people these are very comforting sayings/cliches, but to me, they don't really do anything for me. I know that people are trying to be supportive and I really appreciate that. I don't want anyone to think that I don't appreciate the love and support we're getting. But, I don't believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that things happen because they do and because that's just life. I'm not sold on the idea that our life is already mapped out for us by some higher power/God/creator/etc and that things haven't happened yet because it wasn't "meant to be". I believe it just hasn't happened yet and that's it. There is no judgement from me if you believe in those sayings. I think you need to do whatever it is that gets you through life and the hard times. I'm just not so sure that I'm on the same page with those sayings.
In any case, I want to thank everyone for being so supportive. I don't think we would have been able to go this far in the process without everyone being so great and loving. Please feel free to ask us questions whenever you have them. But trust me....as soon as we hear anything, we will let everyone know. It will be no secret!
I hope everyone is having a safe Labor Day weekend!
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Comments
I just wanted to let everyone know that I have changed my blog settings so that anyone can post comments now. I had unintentionally set up the blog so that only those with a special email account could post. So, if you feel that you'd like to comment on any of my posts, please feel free! I'm still learning about the settings and whatnot for this blog site and I just figured out how to change that feature.
I'll be posting a longer blog sometime this weekend. I just wanted to make sure everyone knew about this change.
That's all for now...
I'll be posting a longer blog sometime this weekend. I just wanted to make sure everyone knew about this change.
That's all for now...
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
The Dentist
Today I went to the dentist. I've been dreading going to the dentist for the last 8 years. (Yes, that's how long it has been since I've seen one.) The thing is, I liked the dentist that I had growing up. He's a friend/client of my dad's and a really nice, wonderful person. But, years ago, he decided to stop taking the dental insurance that I have and ever since then, I've been too lazy and scared to find someone else. This summer, I asked a coworker of mine if she liked her dentist. After a glowing recommendation from 3 people that go to this office, Lance decided to be our "guinea pig" and go.
I'm so glad he went. And not only that, he loved it there. He made me an appointment yesterday for this afternoon. Now, I'm not scared of doctors (and good thing since I see them so often) but I am scared-as-all-get-out of the dentist. I'm not sure why...maybe it's because you can't see what they're doing to you or the noise from them scraping your teeth. Whatever the reason, I'm not a fan of dentists.
Until today. I'm so glad I went! They are absolutely the best team I think I've ever been to. The hygenist was a doll...we laughed and talked (as much as you can inbetween scraping my teeth and poking at my gums). Not once did she or the dentist make me feel bad about not going in so long and she was very warm and comforting when I told her I was nervous about being there. They also had the cool DVD set up so that I could watch a movie with the cool headgear while they were inspecting and cleaning my teeth. (Today, my movie of choice was Spider-Man). I didn't even know the dentists were set up with that sort of thing until recently! It really did help. I found myself distracted with the movie much more than I was thinking about what was being done to me.
They told me that my teeth looked really good for not having been to the dentist for so long. I do have to go back to their office 3 times in the next 4 months (once for a filling, once for a nightguard fitting and in December for a cleaning). I also have to see a specialist about a tooth that I had worked on probably 12 years ago. I cracked this molar when I bit down on a Tootsie Pop when I was about 15. It isn't bothering me at all, but the dentist just wants to take a precaution and have it looked at a little closer to make sure it's ok. Worse comes to worse, I have to have another root canal on it. Good thing is, I'm not scared to go to a dentist anymore.
I can't believe I just wrote so much about the dentist! It was a big deal for me...
In other news, I bought a portable GPS system last weekend to take with me in the car. I used it for the first time today and it's AWESOME!!!!!!!!!! I'd highly recommend people getting one of these. I've come to not rely on Google or Mapquest for my driving direction needs anymore since they've done me wrong so many times. I absolutely love this little gadget.
That's all the news on my end! I hope everyone's well.
I'm so glad he went. And not only that, he loved it there. He made me an appointment yesterday for this afternoon. Now, I'm not scared of doctors (and good thing since I see them so often) but I am scared-as-all-get-out of the dentist. I'm not sure why...maybe it's because you can't see what they're doing to you or the noise from them scraping your teeth. Whatever the reason, I'm not a fan of dentists.
Until today. I'm so glad I went! They are absolutely the best team I think I've ever been to. The hygenist was a doll...we laughed and talked (as much as you can inbetween scraping my teeth and poking at my gums). Not once did she or the dentist make me feel bad about not going in so long and she was very warm and comforting when I told her I was nervous about being there. They also had the cool DVD set up so that I could watch a movie with the cool headgear while they were inspecting and cleaning my teeth. (Today, my movie of choice was Spider-Man). I didn't even know the dentists were set up with that sort of thing until recently! It really did help. I found myself distracted with the movie much more than I was thinking about what was being done to me.
They told me that my teeth looked really good for not having been to the dentist for so long. I do have to go back to their office 3 times in the next 4 months (once for a filling, once for a nightguard fitting and in December for a cleaning). I also have to see a specialist about a tooth that I had worked on probably 12 years ago. I cracked this molar when I bit down on a Tootsie Pop when I was about 15. It isn't bothering me at all, but the dentist just wants to take a precaution and have it looked at a little closer to make sure it's ok. Worse comes to worse, I have to have another root canal on it. Good thing is, I'm not scared to go to a dentist anymore.
I can't believe I just wrote so much about the dentist! It was a big deal for me...
In other news, I bought a portable GPS system last weekend to take with me in the car. I used it for the first time today and it's AWESOME!!!!!!!!!! I'd highly recommend people getting one of these. I've come to not rely on Google or Mapquest for my driving direction needs anymore since they've done me wrong so many times. I absolutely love this little gadget.
That's all the news on my end! I hope everyone's well.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Work
Today I started my 8th school year working in special education. I have to say...I have a good feeling about this year. I really think it's going to be a good one. I'm working in a classroom with a young teacher and one other aide who I've been working with since I started with the district. We all work well together and have a good time. We got a new classroom, so most of the day was spent setting the room up and getting everything ready for the students. They start tomorrow. I still miss working at the preschool, but it was sooooo incredibly nice getting off at 3pm and feeling like I still had some of the day to do whatever I needed to get done. It has been a year since I've only had one job and have ended my work day so early. It will definitely not be long before I'm used to this schedule again.
Lance went to the beach with some of his friends today. They went last week, too, but didn't end up going in the water because of how cold it was at the coast. Today was a pretty warm day, so I imagine they had fun playing in the waves. I'm glad he got to go and hang out with his friends today.
Thank you again to those of you who have donated to Team In Training to help Leah and Justin reach their goal for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's December marathon. I am going to be handing over the checks that I have to Leah shortly and I know she's going to be so grateful and appreciative. I have been really touched by everyone's support. Please know that it's not too late to donate! If you are still interested you can send a check to me or visit their website. Let me know if you need the details.
Have a great week!
Lance went to the beach with some of his friends today. They went last week, too, but didn't end up going in the water because of how cold it was at the coast. Today was a pretty warm day, so I imagine they had fun playing in the waves. I'm glad he got to go and hang out with his friends today.
Thank you again to those of you who have donated to Team In Training to help Leah and Justin reach their goal for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's December marathon. I am going to be handing over the checks that I have to Leah shortly and I know she's going to be so grateful and appreciative. I have been really touched by everyone's support. Please know that it's not too late to donate! If you are still interested you can send a check to me or visit their website. Let me know if you need the details.
Have a great week!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Lovely, Lovely Massage
After talking about getting massages for about two years, my friend, Laura, and I FINALLY went and did it yesterday. Boy was it worth the wait! She had never been before and when I asked her afterward how she liked it, she said that it was great. I had been twice before but this was the first time that I had a male working on me. I must say...it was a little different than my other massages. He took the term "full-body massage" quite literally. Now...before anyone freaks out (my mom gave me a look of horror when I told her this yesterday) there wasn't anything creepy about it and he asked permission before he did anything. As I type this, I realize that this probably sounds really bad, but it wasn't that bad. The thing is, I went to get a massage and relax and because he was a male, I couldn't relax. For that reason alone I will be asking for a female next time I go. He was very nice and very professional but for the money that I'm paying for that massage, I want to relax. He added a reflexology component to the massage, which was something that I hadn't experienced before. It was nice, but I'll probably just stick to the standard massage next time.
After our lovely massages we headed across the street to The Cantina for Mexican food. It was delicious! She had enchiladas while I had BBQ shrimp quesadillas. Yummy! We had a wonderful time catching up and laughing about my massage experience. She only lives about 20 minutes from me, yet we only see each other about once every couple of months or so. She's such a great friend.
Today is the first day that I have absolutely nothing planned since I quit the preschool two weeks ago. I can't believe it! I almost don't know what to do with myself...almost. I do think I'm going to head to a movie later and I definitely have to get some laundry done. Not too shabby. I start work on either Wednesday or Thursday of this week. I'm not sure yet. I'll have to call my teacher later to find out the scoop.
Happy Sunday!
After our lovely massages we headed across the street to The Cantina for Mexican food. It was delicious! She had enchiladas while I had BBQ shrimp quesadillas. Yummy! We had a wonderful time catching up and laughing about my massage experience. She only lives about 20 minutes from me, yet we only see each other about once every couple of months or so. She's such a great friend.
Today is the first day that I have absolutely nothing planned since I quit the preschool two weeks ago. I can't believe it! I almost don't know what to do with myself...almost. I do think I'm going to head to a movie later and I definitely have to get some laundry done. Not too shabby. I start work on either Wednesday or Thursday of this week. I'm not sure yet. I'll have to call my teacher later to find out the scoop.
Happy Sunday!
Friday, August 10, 2007
Asian Art Museum
Lance and I had such a great day today! We decided to hop on BART and head out to San Francisco to go to the Asian Art Museum. Neither of us had been there before, so it was a real treat! As soon as we got there, we found a docent waiting to take a couple of guys on a tour, so we decided to join them. He guided us through the Yoshitoshi and Manga exibits on the first floor. Apparently, this was the first time that they had been shown outside of Japan, so it was really special. After the tour, we headed into the museum's cafe, Cafe Asia, for some lunch. We were surprised at what we found on the menu! We expected regular cafeteria style food, and instead, Lance ordered chicken tiki masala and I had the pork roast. It was delicious! After lunch, we headed up to the 2nd and 3rd floors to check out the rest of the art. The museum ended up being much bigger than either of us expected it to be, so we started getting a little overwhelmed after a while. We decided that we would come back and check out the rest of the art that we skipped over on another day. It was a really fantastic day! I hope you all get to check out this museum sometime.
Here are a few pictures of our trip. They allow pictures to be taken on the 2nd and 3rd floors of the museum, although you're not allowed to use flash. I have a new camera and have not learned how to turn the flash off yet, so I didn't get any interior pictures (aside from our lunch). Maybe by our next visit I'll have that figured out.
Asian Art Museum 
Lance's Chicken Tiki Masala
My Japanese Pork Roast
Goofing around on BART on our way home
Silly, silly man!
Here are a few pictures of our trip. They allow pictures to be taken on the 2nd and 3rd floors of the museum, although you're not allowed to use flash. I have a new camera and have not learned how to turn the flash off yet, so I didn't get any interior pictures (aside from our lunch). Maybe by our next visit I'll have that figured out.
Asian Art MuseumSan Francisco
Lance's Chicken Tiki Masala
My Japanese Pork Roast
Goofing around on BART on our way home
Silly, silly man!
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