The Inevitable Question

August 2011

There are some questions in life that you just have to expect from people at some point.  When Lance and I started dating, everyone wanted to know when we were going to get married.  When we got married, everyone wanted to know when we were going to have kids.  Now that we have a kid, everyone wants to know when or if we're going to have another one.  I have had a large number of people ask me that last question lately.  It's probably because Logan is 2 years old now and that's when a lot of people seem to think about trying for another child.  I thought that this would be the best place to answer this question since my blog (and Facebook) seem to attract the most people who are interested in what is going on in our lives.

So, are you ready for my answer?  The answer is...we don't know.

Truthfully, that is our honest answer.  Totally anticlimactic, huh?  Sorry if I disappointed  you.  

Lance and I talk about this all the time and we are totally on the same page.  Bringing Logan into the world was the most fantastic, life-changing, beautiful experience of our lives.  He is an amazing little boy and we will forever be grateful and honored to be his parents.  He has also spoiled us rotten by being such a great kid.  He was sleeping through the night at 2 weeks old.  He was not a fussy baby.  He is very well connected to the people around him.  He is a very happy little boy.

There are many factors that will come with our decision...whatever that will be and whenever we decide to make it.  I can assure you, though, that it is not a decision that we will be making for quite a few years.  We will have to see where we stand financially, since that is the biggest factor in all of this.  I've had some people tell me that "you always find a way to work it out."  That may be true, but I am already working more than one job to make sure that my family is being taken care of.  I know people mean well and that their intentions are good, but we must not assume that we know the position of the other person.  Finding a way to "work it out" is often easier said than done.  We know this...we want to be able to provide Logan with a great life filled with great experiences.  That is our number one priority.  

There would also be a housing issue.  We LOVE where we are living right now.  It is absolutely perfect for the 3 of us, but if we added another child to our family, we would most definitely have to find another place to live, as this place only has 2 bedrooms.  I have said many, many times that I love our place so much that I hope to never leave it.  This is the first place (outside of the home that I grew up in as a child) that I have felt at home.  That is a big deal.

People have also asked me if we'll try to adopt again.  My answer is the same as above.  We don't know.  We are looking at the same factors as with trying for a biological child.  I don't regret one moment of going through that long process, but I do confess that it was an emotionally draining 3 year time period that I'm not sure I'm willing to go through again.  It's not that it's not worth it.  We just know what it would entail and we're not ready to commit to that again just yet.  But, maybe one day.

Let me just say, though, that we have not ruled out the possibility of having another child.  It is just not something that is on the agenda for the near future.  I have always said that I would love for Logan to have a brother or sister, but we also know a lot of couples who have only one child and they are doing just fine.  I know that people have their opinions about this, as I've often been informed of them, but Lance and I need to do what is best for us and Logan.  I'm sorry if that sounds really harsh.  I don't mean for it to be.  But, nobody walks in our shoes except for us.  

I hope that this answered some questions.  I realize that some people might be disappointed that we haven't decided yet, but give us a few years.  Right now, we are enjoying our time with our little man and taking everything in life one day at a time.